After reading Lotus' post I decided to post about my medical issues. Might as well air the dirty laundry now and let y'all know I'm crazy now.

While I was pregnant with my daughter, I began having some muscle weakness in my hips and thighs. The doctors assured me that it was a normal part of the third trimester and not to worry. So I didn't. Well, after she was born, the weakness didn't go away. I was assured if I just gave it more time, things would be fine. Well, when she was about three months old, I fell down the stairs carrying her. I knew then that this wasn't something that was going to "go away" and that something was seriously wrong.

I went to my optometrist for a normal eye exam and during the examination he discovered that I was having double vision. I had had it for so long, I hadn't noticed. My optometrist suspected that perhaps I had a tumor on the back of my eye and sent me to my primary care physician with a letter from him stating what was wrong with my vision and what he suspected was causing it.

My primary care doctor disregarded my optometrists findings, and tried to diagnose me himself. I was put through the joy of an MRI on my neck to rule out a herniated disk. After some fighting between my doctor and optometrist I was finally sent in for an MRI on my head to make sure there was no tumor.

There wasn't. So I was sent to a neurologist. My first neurologist was a dimwitted jerk. He spent most of his time in the exam quizzing me about birth control and sex. See, I was single. I was on birth control for heavy periods and regulation of periods. But, I was on birth control, so when I said I wasn't currently sexually active, I was lying. Cause, you know, only whores go on birth control. After arguing about whether or not I was lying about my sexual activity(which what does that have to do with double vision and muscle weakness?!?) he informed me it was all in my head and nothing was wrong with me. Right.. So I marched myself immediately over to my PCP office and informed him he would be referring me for a second opinion. He hesitated and tried very hard to sway me to thinking I didn't need a second opinion, but finally relented just to get me out of his office.

My second neurologist, I worship her. She was awesome! I wish I could pack her up and take her everywhere with me. She spent about ten minutes listening to why I came in and performed a simple test with her pen and was pretty sure she had it figured out. I'm sorry, did you catch that? TEN MINUTES! DID A TEST WITH HER WRITING INSTRUMENT!! See why she rocks?

So some blood work and an IV injected drug later we had a positive diagnosis. Ok, really that happened over the course of a week, but still. So anyway, I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. Which, long story short, is where your antibodies get confused and attack your muscle receptors(that's what gets the signal from your brain to move).

So I had to go get a chest CT. Which showed a nice growth on my Thymus and some nicely enlarged lymph nodes.

That meant I got to go in and have a thymectomy which is where they open your chest and remove your thymus. At this point I was 19. Kind of a lot to take in. I had been dealing with this for nearly a year. I know this because I had my surgery early enough so that I would be able to be active in my daughters upcoming 1st birthday party.

I was fortunate in all of this because they growth on my thymus, wasn't cancerous as they had feared. Score 1 for me!

So, after the thymectomy my symptoms largely resolved and I've been in remission for a very long time.

However, other things have kicked my butt since then. Like depression. I've had issues with depression since high school. But with adulthood, came more severe depression. Maybe that isn't the best term. Perhaps not more severe, just different. I have good days and bad days.

To help make me less crazy I stopped birth control, because my body was going insane, which was making me insane. I also went and saw my doctor and explained how the crazy was leaking out of me and coating my family in anger, unhappiness, and despair. I was giving my family everything that was going on inside me. Not a very nice gift.

So with the pills and the wonderful support of my family, and even more so my significant other, Edwin I've been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I forget my meds sometimes. Not because I don't think I need them, but because I'm horrible with pills! I have a timer set on my phone now and Edwin reminds me. He reminds me because without them, I have trouble getting out of bed, I yell at the kids, I hate who I am, don't want to be with him anymore, and fight with him non-stop. Yeah, I get pleasant.

But he helps keep me on track and is patient when I'm crying and angry for no reason what-so-ever and it's all his fault, even though he's been home about two minutes. He's brave. Or crazy. It could go either way.

But I do ok now. I'm in remission, I am getting help with getting my depression and mood swings, and one day, maybe they'll find a way to cure either of my problems. That'd be nice. I think, had I a choice, I'd pick the depression. Not because it's worse than Myasthenia Gravis, but because it effects so many people. People I know, other that I don't. That could be the best possible thing to find a cure for. It would make SO many peoples lives SO much better.

So those of you out there who are budding bio-chemists, work on that.


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