Happy Mothers Day

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."



2. My mother taught me RELIGION

"You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."



3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"



4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."



5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."



6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."



7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."



8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."



9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?!"



10. My mother taught me about STAMINA

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."



11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."



12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"


13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"


15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."



16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."



17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"



18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."



19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"



20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."



21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."



22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."



23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"



24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."



25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

A tornado has gone through my kids playroom.

So after a week of being sick and basically bedridden, I went to go and check on the kids play room.
Lets just say that Edwin was not very diligent about making sure the kids kept up with their tidying.

I can't believe the mess. I'll be spending the nice weekend indoors playing catch up for the week I was down.

This weekend we've got Michelle and Lori goes to her Dad's. David is excited. He loves Michelle weekends. I suspect he'll be beside himself this summer having both his sisters.

Words I dread

"Mom, I'm hungry." Those words are some that I HATE to hear. Not for reasons other moms hate it. Other moms worry about what they'll feed their kids, where the food or money for food will come from. I hate those words because my daughter can't stop eating.

She eats and eats and eats until her stomach aches. She'll eat more than me. She'll eat several FULL meals a day. She wakes up hungry, she takes a snack for school, she eats a large lunch, she asks for food as soon as she gets home. She will literally eat from the moment she comes in until time for bed. And not like, oh I'll nibble here or there. No. She eats an entire package of crackers, a full bowl of applesauce, left overs, bread, fruit, and then ask for dinner. Then ask for seconds at dinner. Then ask for a pre-bed snack.

I don't know what to do.

Today she came in and went straight for the fridge. I told her no snack because I was making an early dinner tonight. She went upstairs to put her bag away, back down into the fridge "Mom can I have..." NO! I told you no snack, I'll be making dinner soon. "Mom can I have...?" NO go upstairs. "ugh mom I just want a snack I'm SO hungry" and bring on the tears. Which, I'll be honest, piss me off. She's overweight she isn't dying she had a lunch and snack at school, she will be fine for another hour. That it's SO big a deal that there are TEARS over it make me furious.

All the way around I'm so fed up with dealing with her issues. It isn't HER, it's things beyond her control but about her. I'm tired of not having my calls returned, not having insurance for her, not having a clue how to deal with any of it. I'm at the end of my rope.

Pretty much sums up the last three days

I don't do illegal drugs anymore. Now I just do the legal drugs. Tonight I'm on NyQuil. Let me tell you something, folks. Forget about cocaine and heroine. All you need is NyQuil. I love NyQuil. Man, I love it! I love it. I love it. I love it. It's the best thing ever invented. Isn't it, huh? I love the name alone. NyQuil - Capitol N, small Y, big fucking Q! I love that fucking Q, don't you!? What a great advertising idea! Put a huge fucking Q on the box. They'll get high and stare at it. "The Q is talking to me! The Q is talking to me!"

I love NyQuil, man. Because NyQuil has never changed, man. It's never changed. All the other medicines are doing that inner-child thing. "we know that there's a small child inside of you, so now we have grape and cherry and orange flavor." Not NyQuil! They still have the original green death fucking flavor! You know why!? Because it doesn't matter what it tastes like! It's so strong you go, "*wheeze* Hey this stuff really tastes like.." Bang! Yer in the coma already! "What happened?" "He said tastes like and he went right into the coma, it was unbelievable!" We have reached the point where the over the counter drugs are actually stronger than anything you can buy on the street. It says on the back of the NyQuil box, on the back of the box it says, "May cause drowsiness." It should say, "Don't make any fucking plans! Kiss your family and friends goodbye. Say hello to Klaus!" NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you! You giant fucking Q!

NyQuil is the secret for all you twelve step recovery program people. Yes, all you AA people, NyQuil is the key! It's the thirteenth fucking step! You can drink it! It's over the counter! Drink as much as you want. "Are you drunk?" "No! I have a cold. Same cold I've had for two years. I just can't seem to shake it. I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green. Merry fucking Christmas!"

~Dennis Leary "No Cure for Cancer"

Yup, NyQuil, I love you, you giant fucking Q! Last night I took some and was starting to wonder why I wasn't 'feelin' it, then I turned to say something to Edwin and saw tracers. I know not everyone has done enough drugs to see tracers, just imagine it like a bad movie pan. I decided I should go to bed and realized, balance isn't my strong point.

Like just now, less than five minutes ago I took the 'adult' dose of NyQuil and my legs are tingling and my brain is starting to disconnect. I love that floating feelings. I also love being able to sleep without coughing and hacking and dying.

My cold/flu/curly tail has been reduced to a stuffy/runny nose and uncontrolable hacking and coughing. Which of course means I pee my pants. *Don't have kids without plans for bladder sling surgery.* So I cough and pee and pass gas. Boy Edwin got a winner here huh?

LMAO, I totally just lapsed 10 minutes zoning out on Family Matters. Just checked out. Ah we love you, you giant fucking Q.

So in light of that, I'm going to bed to zone in bed.

I've been told to update

So today I'm posting to avoid starting my mid-term. We thankfully have a take home. More time to procrastinate!

We are starting our planning and research for homeschooling. I'm at my wits end with the school system and am not going to fight anymore.

Applying again for OHP. Cause I love a good fight.

Have to take David to get his vaccs and a check up. Not to mention everyone needs some dental stuff. Well, not David. He seems to have ok teeth aside from being chipped.

I'm a little concerned about how easily they chip as my fraternal grandfather had 'soft' teeth where they would flake and break. He ended up with dentures early on.

The 'swine flu' is about. None here in Oregon as yet. People flip out over anything. It's just like West Nile and the Bird Flu. This isn't even the first time the swine flu has made the pig to human jump. There have been two others. 1976 at a military base and 1988 in like Ohio or something. Each of them originated at a fair where they had been around pigs. So I feel confident if I keep washing my kids hands, we'll be ok.

um... I suppose that's it. See, not much to update.

In Rememberance

Too soon to go, but heaven needed this angel back. The world is better for her presence. Thoughts and prayers to her parents. She smiles down on us.

men never grow up

So it's spring break up here. It's a week full of late nights and bored children. Unfortunately, this year, it's also a week of having a sick man in my house.
Something magical happens when men get sick. They morph from adults who bring home the bacon and are the protectors of the household, to toddlers who need a mommy. They need to be cuddled, cared for, pampered... They whine, oh lordy do they whine, and throw tantrums!
I know I say I want another kid, but I'd like one that isn't 28.
What causes this change? Most women I know get sick and just want to be left alone with the occasional delivery of soup and water. Otherwise, don't look at us. But men, complete opposite. They need you more than a newborn.

So this week, I have three children. I'm listening to an orchestra of sniffles, and whines.

So, as it's nearly midnight, and he's still not coming to bed, I can safely add whining about being sleepy to his list tomorrow.

Here I bid you farewell, as I have to go take the garbage and recycling out because SOMEONE is too sick to help.

If you want something done right...

So, after getting past my anger at the school system, I made some phone calls. My girl has an appt on April 2nd for testing for dyslexia, instead of discussing whether she's behind enough for help. Looking at homeschooling her for a while. Play some catch up. Drop my classes. The thought of doing it pains me, but I made the choice to be a mom, and that comes first.
We're fortunate enough that me having an income isn't necessary. May as well put that to good use.
I feel really strongly that my girl will benefit from one on one. Her brother will still go to preschool when it's time, but no reason to rush him into child care. They say kids do better the longer their home with their moms. Well see if thats true.

My mom was up visiting today. We always enjoy the company, but she seems to be mostly baby sitter extraordinaire while here so I can play catch up. Between preparing meals, homework, kids, and errands, something slips..usually housework(Hello! Sink dirty bathroom!) and my homework slides more than it should. But, there is only so many hours in a day and I do the best I can.

My dad had open heart surgery. They originally were going to replace his aortic valve and a double bypass. Instead he got his aortic valve replace, the aortic arch, and triple bypass. He's a little sore, but doing well. Apparently my grandparents are all up in arms that we didn't call dad in the hospital, but really? After surgery like that, you're either too drugged to keep focus or remember who called, or you're sleeping. I knew we'd talk to him when he left the hospital. I enjoy the time in the hospital, I find relaxing to be honest. Someone cares for you and all you have to do is tell the nurses to bugger off and shuffle to the restroom(assuming it's permitted). Although I think my dad got better drugs than I did for mine surgery. He was seeing orange parashutes, people who had firecrackers coming off their bodies(sounds like aura's huh?) that weren't there but he could talk to, and he could see with his eyes closed. Sounds like a trip!

I'm finally tired so I'm going to head to bed.