I don't do illegal drugs anymore. Now I just do the legal drugs. Tonight I'm on NyQuil. Let me tell you something, folks. Forget about cocaine and heroine. All you need is NyQuil. I love NyQuil. Man, I love it! I love it. I love it. I love it. It's the best thing ever invented. Isn't it, huh? I love the name alone. NyQuil - Capitol N, small Y, big fucking Q! I love that fucking Q, don't you!? What a great advertising idea! Put a huge fucking Q on the box. They'll get high and stare at it. "The Q is talking to me! The Q is talking to me!"

I love NyQuil, man. Because NyQuil has never changed, man. It's never changed. All the other medicines are doing that inner-child thing. "we know that there's a small child inside of you, so now we have grape and cherry and orange flavor." Not NyQuil! They still have the original green death fucking flavor! You know why!? Because it doesn't matter what it tastes like! It's so strong you go, "*wheeze* Hey this stuff really tastes like.." Bang! Yer in the coma already! "What happened?" "He said tastes like and he went right into the coma, it was unbelievable!" We have reached the point where the over the counter drugs are actually stronger than anything you can buy on the street. It says on the back of the NyQuil box, on the back of the box it says, "May cause drowsiness." It should say, "Don't make any fucking plans! Kiss your family and friends goodbye. Say hello to Klaus!" NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you! You giant fucking Q!

NyQuil is the secret for all you twelve step recovery program people. Yes, all you AA people, NyQuil is the key! It's the thirteenth fucking step! You can drink it! It's over the counter! Drink as much as you want. "Are you drunk?" "No! I have a cold. Same cold I've had for two years. I just can't seem to shake it. I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green. Merry fucking Christmas!"

~Dennis Leary "No Cure for Cancer"

Yup, NyQuil, I love you, you giant fucking Q! Last night I took some and was starting to wonder why I wasn't 'feelin' it, then I turned to say something to Edwin and saw tracers. I know not everyone has done enough drugs to see tracers, just imagine it like a bad movie pan. I decided I should go to bed and realized, balance isn't my strong point.

Like just now, less than five minutes ago I took the 'adult' dose of NyQuil and my legs are tingling and my brain is starting to disconnect. I love that floating feelings. I also love being able to sleep without coughing and hacking and dying.

My cold/flu/curly tail has been reduced to a stuffy/runny nose and uncontrolable hacking and coughing. Which of course means I pee my pants. *Don't have kids without plans for bladder sling surgery.* So I cough and pee and pass gas. Boy Edwin got a winner here huh?

LMAO, I totally just lapsed 10 minutes zoning out on Family Matters. Just checked out. Ah we love you, you giant fucking Q.

So in light of that, I'm going to bed to zone in bed.


Leann said...

I LOVE NyQuil!! I use it when I can't sleep sometimes. No other symptoms...just can't sleep.

Cute post. I had completely forgotten about Dennis Leary's Ode to NyQuil. He has a good point tho does't he? LOL